OMG claire213

That better Becks??

Chapter 3 Outside of the club, the sky had began to pour rain in a furious fit. I watched Kane get back on his motorcycle. Everything was swirling through my ...

Chapter Two I woke up with my eyes staring at the ceiling of a broken down house owned by the most bizarre mix of renegade... people. I rubbed the sleep ...

It was short and to the point, which isn't always a bad thing. The cutting turn to it is a bit overdone these days... everyone is obsessed with writing about ...

After so many different people have nitpicked this through for you, i don't have much to crit on!! Very good. I really enjoyed this, and hope to read more of ...

I could use some more advice on what I've added! Any ideas??

I really enjoyed reading this. I will say, that as a poet, I'm not fond of poetry with a rhyme scheme, as in that not many people can pull it ...

i tried to get into this, but the style of writing is kind of choppy, there are some sentences that would fit and flow so much better if you used ...

like after he talks about the traffic being like trying to run in chest-high water. but i edited stuff, so basically all of chapter two (which is completed) is new.

heh, few more edits included :]

mk, i made the edits to ch. 1-- fixed typos and redundancys (sp?) and added to convo with bit and fixed thing about dad. I also fixed the bit with ...

oh man. i wrote like... half of it at 1 in the morning. i was dropping off my ass tired, which is why there are a lot of fixers to ...

GAH! the paragraphs aren't working, so basically whenever it skips to the line below and starts as a new sentence, or something being said, it's a paragraph. cept the spoken ...

Sorry about the spacing. I highlighted and copied from my WordPerfect document, and i guess the spacing didn't transfer. I was really tired last night when i posted it! there ...

Chapter One The alarm sounded like a jackhammer in my ear. The shock of it made my head jerk up off of the pillow. Monday mornings are always a surprise, ...